Be a Friend
/When I was younger, I didn’t have very many friends.
I didn’t really have any friends, actually. I was a pretty lonely kid. I didn’t talk to people in fear that they might think I was weird or awkward, so I just kept to quiet. I spent a lot of time by myself, and I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts.
The anxiety didn’t set in all at once, it built up over time. My brain was a ticking time bomb of unexpressed emotions. I was so lonely - I had convinced myself that I was too socially awkward to make friends, and that I was unworthy of friendship. The enemy berated my brain daily; he had a tight grip on my thoughts. He whispered to me over and over that I was worthless and that no one liked me. The worst part is that I believed him. Eventually, everything got so pent up that it had to come out.
I remember walking down the stairs and seeing my parents sitting in the living room. I was too tired to beat around the bush, so I just came out and said it -
“I’m thinking about killing myself.”
Saying those words aloud opened up a floodgate of emotion. I had a large-scale panic attack that lasted five days. In those five days, I stayed home from school so my parents and church leaders could counsel me, pray with me, and provide me with more love and comfort than I could ever ask for. I thank God for those people every day.
God was so faithful through the whole thing. He pulled me close, and provided me with loving comfort. I went to see a therapist, who helped me learn how to work through my feelings. God continued to place people in my life to take care of me. Over time, the anxiety subsided and my confidence grew, and I started to reach out to people at school and church. I made friends, and the loneliness that was once so rock solid within me fell apart.
When I began to heal, I made two promises to myself:
1. I would never allow myself to get that low again without talking to someone about it.
2. I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt, and if someone needed a friend then I would do everything in my power to make them feel loved.
I would be the light.
In our world, not everybody’s story ends like mine. Not everyone has a happy ending. We live in a world where we are constantly at each other’s throats with criticism and judgement. We ostracize people because they’re “different” or they’re “not cool.” We judge people solely based on their physical appearance and rumors that we hear from others. If they don’t measure up to our standards, they don’t get our friendship.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve been so lonely that I wanted to die, but I’ve also been the mean girl. I’ve excluded people and made them feel unloved because of my own insecurities. I’ve blatantly ignored people because I thought they weren’t good enough for me. I’ve treated people like they’re an inconvenience to me. I’ve deliberately spread rumors about people just to bring them down. I’ve been bullied, but I’ve also been a bully.
Matthew 22:39 states it clearly:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
When Jesus says that, he calls it the “second greatest commandment,” the first being to love God above all else. Love God, then love people.
Why is that so dang hard?
I don’t mean that sarcastically either - it’s hard to love everyone around you. Trust me, I know. But imagine how different our world would be if we were even just a little bit kinder to those around us.
Often times, it seems that Christians are the worst at this. There has been multiple occasions where I have invited someone to church and they have declined because “they feel judged.” There have also been occasions where someone has found out that I’m a Christian and they no longer felt like they could share things with me because they feared I was going to judge them.
What kind of name have we made for God by being judgmental?
God himself is the supreme judge, but unlike ours, his judgements are just and righteous. We as humans have no right to cast judgement on our neighbor, and by doing so we give the impression that God is as irrational and frivolous as we are. The reality is that we serve a loving God. If God loves us despite our ugly sins, we can love each other.
Let me say that again.
If God - the creator of the universe and everything in it - calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, then we have absolutely no right to do anything less than that.
Next time you think about judging someone for their appearance, consider this: that person is an image bearer.
Just like you.
Next time you think about screenshotting someone’s post on social media and gossiping about it in your group chat, consider this: that person deserves love and grace.
Just like you.
Next time you see someone sitting alone, consider this: inviting them to sit with you could change their entire day, and possibly their entire outlook on life.
Just like it would for you if you were in their shoes.
Show Jesus to someone today. Be a light. Be a friend. Invite someone who’s lonely to sit by you. Reach out to an old friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. Doing something as small as complimenting a stranger could change the entire trajectory of their day.
Where’s the harm in extending love?
What do you have to lose by being kind?
_________________________
I only have one song for you this time, but it’s a good one:
One Awkward Moment - Casting Crowns
*edit - I lied. I want to add one more song:
Nobody - Casting Crowns feat. Matthew West