Standing Up
/I've never been very good at standing up for myself. When I was little, I got bullied a lot. Kids can be mean, and I was a weird kid which made me an easy target. I would come home and tell my parents what the other kids said to me, and they would always help me come up with witty comebacks so I could defend myself. Every time I would write it down and bring it to school with me so I could tell it to my antagonizers, but when their taunting would start I would always lose my nerve and back down. I would always end up going home and feeling just as lousy as I did they day before.
I remembered that feeling the other day when I was reading Esther. Esther is awesome, but as I was reading I realized that one of the most important characters in the story is actually Queen Vashti. She's only in the first chapter, but without her there's no way the Jews could have been rescued.
Esther 1:10-21 says:
"On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded his servants to bring Queen Vashti before the king with her royal crown, in order to show the peoples and the princes her beauty, for she was lovely to look at. But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command delivered by the servants. At this the king became enraged.
Then the king said to his wise men 'according to the law, what is to be done to Queen Vashti, because she has not performed the command of the King Xerxes delivered by the servants?'
Then Memucan, a noble of the king, said 'the queen's behavior will be made known to all women, causing them to look at their husbands with contempt. If it please the king, let a royal order go out from him, and let it be written among the laws that Vashti is never again to come before King Xerxes. And let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she'. This advise pleased the king, and he sent letters to all the royal provinces."
We don't know much about Queen Vashti, but what we do know is that she had to have a really good reason that she didn't want to perform that day, since she probably knew that she would be punished - and my guess is that God left her reasoning unknown on purpose. Perhaps it was that she felt objectified being shown off for her looks rather than her intellect and grace. Maybe she was having marital issues. Maybe she was just too tired to do it that day. Whatever it was, something inside her snapped and made her bold enough to stand up to the king.
Maybe this situation sounds a little familiar to you. Maybe you've been dealing with things in your life that have left you feeling frustrated, hurt, or angry. Maybe you feel like you're being taken for granted. Maybe you're tired of people taking advantage of your kindness.
Maybe it's time for you to stand up for yourself too.
You see, if Vashti hadn't stood up for herself things would have been way different. If she had just done as she was told, she wouldn't have had to step down from being queen, Esther would have never risen to power, and the all of the Jews in the land would have been killed. She was the catalyst in God's great plan.
Esther is one of the only books in the Bible that never mentions God's name. Instead, His presence is made known through the intricacy of the events that unfold. If you look closely, you can see that He was in control the entire time. God strategically placed things in Vashti's life that lead up to this moment. He allowed things to happen that caused her discomfort and pushed her to her limits so He could use her to fulfill His purpose. Vashti's disobedience to the king was part of God's plan. She didn't do anything big (I mean the book isn't called Vashti, it's called Esther), all she did was stand up for herself - and it sent a whirlwind of events into motion.
God doesn't want you to be a doormat. You're His precious creation! You are worth so much, and you deserve to be treated with respect by the people around you. He is allowing you to feel that discomfort that you feel in certain situations so that you learn to stand up for yourself. It doesn't have to be anything huge; something as little as saying no to hanging out with someone because you're too tired can have a positive impact on you. When you learn to stand up for what's good for you, God blesses you. He has opened up so many doors for me just because I learned how to stand up for myself. I've learned how to tell people no. I'm finally figuring out my worth.
And let me tell you, it feels so good.
So my question to you is:
Are you standing up for yourself?
Maybe God's using trying to teach you a lesson.
Don't be scared, give it a try - you'll be surprised at the blessings you'll receive.
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Songs to help with your bravery as you learn to stand up for yourself:
You Make Me Brave - Amanda Cook & Bethel Music
HARD LOVE - NEEDTOBREATHE & Lauren Daigle