How to be Beautiful

I hate that you opened this.

I mean maybe it’s because you genuinely enjoy my writing and read everything I post, but odds are you clicked on it because you want to know how to feel beautiful -

which implies that you don’t think you are already.

I know, I know, lots of jumping to conclusions, and it’s only the first paragraph of this post - but am I wrong?

When I was younger, I was obsessed with this book series called “The Clique”. It was centered around these rich, beautiful, teenage girls who always wore designer clothes, lived in sprawling mansions, and were the most popular girls at their school. The main character, Massie Block, was this privileged, gorgeous girl who didn’t take crap from anyone. She was actually quite the bully, and is the antagonist for a majority of the series -

and I wanted to be just like her.

I was a quiet, awkward middle schooler who had braces and wore the same pair of excessively bedazzled Miss Me jeans pretty much every single day. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, and I was a complete pushover. To me, Massie Block represented this beautiful and strong idealized version of myself that I wanted so badly to reach. I wanted to wear all designer clothing. I wanted to live in a house so gigantic that I had to wear a bell so my parents knew where I was. I wanted to have comebacks so quick that no one would dare mess with me. I wanted big boobs, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth - just like Massie.

I was obsessed. I would literally sit in my room and google “how to be like Massie Block” and take notes. I read every forum, every Wikihow, every single article that even mentioned her name. I wanted to be just like her.

What my 13 year old mind failed to understand was that, no matter how much I changed my outward appearance and actions, it wouldn’t fix the emotional turmoil that I was experiencing in my mind. I thought that if I was beautiful and rich and had everything I wanted at my fingertips, that it would make me love myself. That it would make me love my body. That I would look in the mirror and absolutely adore my reflection.

And you know what? I was right.

Now, 10 years later, I have all of the things that I wanted. I have clear skin. I have straight teeth. I have designer clothing. I have gorgeous friends. I’m quick with my tongue. I still don’t have boobs, but I do have an athletic frame that can wear just about anything. I am beautiful, and I have 2000+ Instagram followers to prove it. Middle school me was right - all I needed were these things. I no longer struggle with my self-esteem, I fully know my worth.

Haha. Just kidding.

It is very rare that I look in the mirror and like what I see. I think my face is too round, my stomach isn’t flat enough, my legs are too short - and these don’t even begin to scratch the surface of my insecurities. I’m guilty of weighing myself constantly, and punishing my body when the number on the scale goes up. I go through phases where I am fully convinced that all of my friends secretly hate me, and that my boyfriend is going to realize how much of a mess I am and leave me.

So, I scroll.

My obsession with Massie Block may have dissipated, but it is now manifesting in other ways - a Pinterest filled with “body inspo” pins. Bookmarked photos of beautiful women with flowing hair and rockin’ abs on Instagram. Obsessively scrolling through the exercise tag on Tik Tok. Googling new fad diets, and taking pages of notes on them so I can lose the 3 pounds I gained over the holiday weekend. I am constantly overwhelming my brain with comparison, taking note of and obsessing over the things that I wish I was.

I, like so many people, am stuck in a vicious and unhealthy cycle - a cycle perpetuated by the belief that I am not enough. The belief that if I was just a little bit better, I would be happy -

and my friends, let me tell you: this concept leads to nowhere but the path of disappointment and shame.

You see, there is always going to be someone better. There is always going to be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone smarter - someone who has the things you don’t. And then suddenly, without you even noticing, that “little” bit of change you were trying to make has turned into an unhealthy obsession fueled by an unreachable standard.

Now, what I don’t want you to hear me saying is that you should never try to improve yourself, because that is completely untrue. There is always room for growth and improvement, and to quote my favorite author Rachel Hollis, “you should always try to be better than the person you were yesterday - even if it’s only by an inch.”

I am all for self-improvement, but the way our world tells us to go about it is, in my opinion, completely wrong. I am a firm believer that, even on your worst day, you are worthy of love and compassion- even if you are not where you want to be yet.

So, with that in mind, how can we begin to love ourselves where we are? As we are?

First and foremost, we must begin to understand and accept the fact that God isn’t finished with us yet. Philippians 1:6 says this:

“Be confident in this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ’s return.”

God isn’t just going to leave you where you are. In fact, He is doing little things to improve you every day, oftentimes without you even noticing. You are being molded and improved upon by your Maker every single day; He will never abandon or forsake you.

Not only that, but God’s standard of beauty is different than the world’s. You might look in the mirror and think “wow, I could lose a few pounds”, but God looks at that same reflection and smiles in adoration. He sees someone made in His image. He sees you as a work of art, made and completely adored by Him. He cherishes you. You are His masterpiece - even with that zit on the end of your nose that makes you look like Rudolph.

The way you were made is not by accident. You will never look like those people online because you’re not them. You’re you - and that is a good thing.

Once you learn to fully accept that you - yes, you reading this - is fully worthy of love exactly where you are and how you are, those mental blocks you constructed begin to crumble, and what you are left with is the kind of peace that can only be provided by being completely satisfied in your Creator.

You want a hard pill to swallow? Well, I’ll give you one:

satisfaction with yourself does not come from within, it comes from above.

Learning to love yourself is not about you - it’s about loving the one who made you. It doesn’t come from the physical and behavioral changes that you force into your routine, it comes from letting go of every single standard the world is throwing your way, and gripping firmly onto the Father.

My high school youth group pastor gave a lesson on this topic that I will never forget - he said “the more you cling to Him, the more you become like Him, and the more you become like Him, the more you become yourself.”

You want to be beautiful?

You want to be loved?

You want to be worthy?

Newsflash: you already are.

You are all of these things and more. You don’t need to edit yourself to be worthy. Even in your worst moments, even when you don’t feel like it, even when everything around you is screaming that you’re not enough, you have the freedom to sink deep into the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God isn’t done with you yet. You are always getting better, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

You are gorgeous. You are capable. You are enough. You are intimately known by the God of the universe, and He delights in every piece of you.

When are you going to start acting like it?

_________________________

Meditating can be one of the best ways to connect with God, but if you have a busy brain (like me), all of that quiet can be overwhelming - so here are some songs to listen to while you listen for His quiet voice.

In over My Head - Bethel Music

King of Kings (Live) - Hillsong Worship

Faithful - Sarah Reeves

Your Glory / Nothing But The Blood (Live) - All Sons & Daughters

Burn the House Down

I am currently in what has probably been the hardest season of my life.

Events transpired that I was sure I wasn’t going to recover from. I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t eat or get out of bed for days at a time. It felt like someone had burnt my house the ground.

I used that metaphor a lot, because it was the only way I could put what I was feeling into words. It felt like someone burnt my house to the ground.

And I guess God heard me say that.

On my way to church today, I saw an enormous cloud of smoke. Now, I don’t know much about fire, but what I do know is that dark grey means that whatever is burning is still currently burning, whereas white means that the fire has been extinguished - and this cloud was dark grey.

As I drove closer, I could see the source: a house seated on top of a hill that was completely engulfed in flames.

I didn’t see any emergency vehicles outside of the home, so I pulled out my phone and typed in 911. I was still on the interstate, but I knew what exit the house was closest to. My finger hovered over the dial button, but then I saw a sheriff drive by. I exhaled, thinking that he was on his way to help, but became nervous again when I noticed his lights weren’t on. Was I the only one seeing this fire? What if there are people inside? Should I call 911, or is it under control?

I thought about these questions all the way to church. With 911 still typed into my keypad, I parked and got out of my car. You could see the smoke from the parking lot, and other people were definitely noticing it. Surely one of these people called the fire department, right?

My mental debate was interrupted by one of the parking attendants telling me good morning. I smiled and said good morning back, but then I stopped.

“Hey there’s a house on fire over there, do you think I should call 911? Or do you think someone has already done it?”

The minute the words left my mouth I internally cringed. It felt like a silly question to ask the man who had helped me park, because - to my knowledge - he had the same amount of information I had.

“Oh, no need!” he replied. “My brother actually works for the fire department, that’s an intentional burn.”

I’m sorry…did he just say “intentional burn?”

“I was confused because the house looked so nice,” he continued. “It had a really pretty exterior. I guess it was more of an internal problem.”

Internal problem? Intentional burn?

These words echoed around in my mind on my walk into the building. Internal problem. Intentional burn.

Click.

Queue the tears.

I had been saying for months that it felt like someone had burnt my house to the ground. I was so broken down and angry with God, because it felt like all of the things that I cared about the most were taken away from me. I felt so empty and out of control.

I couldn’t see it a few months ago, but I realize now that the “house” I lived in was disgustingly unhealthy. Yes, I looked put together and pretty on the outside, but on the inside I was constantly anxious. I had become comfortable with being uncomfortable. The situation that I was in was completely hindering my growth, but because it was familiar, I wanted to stay in it - and I would have if God hadn’t stepped in.

If God hadn’t allowed fire to be set to my metaphorical house - my plans, my relationships, all of it - I would have settled for the mediocrity I was living in. I would have stayed right where I was, as the person I was. I had no idea how harmful my thinking patterns were and how little I valued myself. I had absolutely no idea that my mental state was as toxic as it was.

If I could see how unsound my house was at the beginning of all of this…I would have set fire to it myself.

I couldn’t see it though. Thank goodness that God did, and He cared enough to remove me from it.

If I’ve learned one thing through this incredibly difficult season, it’s that the presence of hardships does not negate the presence of God. God loves and cares about you enough to allow trials and difficult seasons into your life so that you can grow. Pain allows us to become more like Jesus.

I won’t lie, growing is painful. It hurts to grow. But the person that you become on the other side of the trial is a person worth meeting.

I mean it when I say I wouldn’t change a thing about these last few months. It has been incredibly difficult, but you know what? I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m surrounded by people who love me. Jesus has filled holes in my heart that I didn’t even know were there.

I’m still rebuilding my house, and some days are better than others - but at least now I have a firm foundation to build upon. In the midst of the storm, I have hope.

It’s crazy how Jesus works. It feels dichotomous - that even in the middle of incredible sorrow, he can give you joy. He can give you hope. He can restore you.

All you gotta do is ask Him.

I know that some of you may be going through a difficult season right now too. If you need prayer, click here.

You are so well loved and looked after.

Just because life sucks right now doesn’t mean that He has forgotten about you.

And hey - this season isn’t going to last forever. Joy is coming.

(If you don’t believe me, read Job).

_________________________

Songs to listen to in this season:

Come to Me (Spontaneous) - Bethel Music, Jenn Johnson, Brian Johnson

Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne

Raise a Hallelujah (Live) - Bethel Music, Jonathan David Helser

_________________________

Attitude Adjustment

I catch myself complaining a lot...like a lot a lot. A ridiculous amount. It's like some kind of sick talent - I can turn any situation into something negative to be complained about. Just this morning, I woke up and noticed that I had developed a large red zit on my cheek over night. Even though the rest of my skin still looked good, I just couldn't look past that one zit. It drove me crazy, and I talked about it for ten minutes. Yeah, you heard me right - ten. Ten whole minutes of my life wasted on a small bump on my cheek. How ridiculous is that?

We all do it though. Everyone has something to complain about, which got me thinking - why do we complain?

I was thinking about this question all night, and when I woke up this morning it hit me: we complain because we think we deserve better - better skin, a better job with higher income, better friends, a better body, just better. 

This got me thinking about a second question: why do we think we deserve better?

Today, I want to talk to you about a silent killer - pride. 

Pride defined is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements. I say "silent killer" because most of the time we don't notice it. Pride is sneaky, making it a sin that's easy to commit. It's easy to correct a behavior when you notice yourself physically doing it, like disrespecting your parents or lying. It's much harder when that behavior is internal - and when literally everyone around you is doing the same thing.

Our world teaches us that if we want something, we should be able to get it. It teaches us that life should be fair, so it hands out participation trophies and stickers that say "A for effort!" This embeds in us the idea that no matter what we do, we deserve a reward, which in turn boosts our pride. 

Don't get me wrong, it's good in small doses. It's good to be proud of yourself for getting an A on a test that you studied really hard for, or when you achieve a personal goal. It becomes dangerous when you begin to feel entitled. It becomes dangerous when you start to feel like you deserve something that someone else has. It becomes dangerous when you begin to see yourself as better than someone else. It's dangerous when your attitude becomes "I am great, look and see what I have done."

I think we all need an attitude adjustment.

It starts with shifting our thinking. Instead of "I deserve that," think "God has given me what I have for a reason."

"They're not as good as me" to "they are my brother/sister in Christ."

"I am great, look and see what I have done" to "God is great, look and see what great things He has done."

You see, pride is self-glorification. When you allow yourself to be overcome with pride, you're taking the spotlight that should be on God and putting it on yourself. You're saying that you deserve more glory than - wait for it - the Creator of the universe.

When Jesus came to earth, he came in a manger. His mother and father didn't have much. He worked as a carpenter. He was fully God, yet He came has a humble servant. Philippians 2:5-8 says:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, and took the very nature of a servant, made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross!"

Jesus set the perfect example of what humility looks like and called us to follow. The passage in Philippians goes on to say that because of His obedience and willingness to put the entire world before Himself, God exalted Him and gave Him the highest of honors. God rewarded Jesus's humility -

He'll do the same for you. 

In a world that teaches us to be prideful, let us instead be humble.

It's way more fulfilling.

_________________________

Here's some songs about how awesome Jesus is (there's no one like Him!):

Lamb of God - Vertical Worship

Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace) - Hillsong Worship

Reckless Love - Cory Asbury

In Times of Trial

For the past few weeks, God has really been putting it on my heart to read Job. I've heard the story a million times, but He has opened my eyes to a couple new revelations that I want to share with you. For those of you unfamiliar with Job's story, let me fill you in:

Job was completely blameless and lived a life that was pleasing to the Lord. Because of this, God blessed him abundantly - he had a wonderful family, tons of livestock (which was a sign of extreme wealth), and good health. One day, Satan came to present himself before the Lord. The two talk and God agrees to let Satan test Job two times to prove that he truly is a man who fears the Lord. In the first test, God allows Satan to take away his sons, daughters, and his livestock. In the second test, God allows Satan to inflict great wounds upon Job. Job becomes miserable and curses the day he was born.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

In the end, God blesses Job with twice the amount of what he had before. More livestock, happy family, better health...but despite the blessings, it's hard to look back on all of the terrible things that happened and see God's goodness.

I'm sure you've heard over and over "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." But when tragedy strikes, how can we be sure? Job suffered so greatly, and for what? To prove a point to Satan? If God is so good, why does He allow bad things to happen? How good is God really? 

In this life, terrible things are going to happen. This world is beyond imperfect, and unfortunately that's never going to change. There is however, something to keep in mind -

As much as you may hate to hear it, that cliché saying is 100% correct - God really is good. In fact, God is so good that he repurposes your pain and positions you to receive blessings in the future. He works through all of the hurt that you're feeling and builds up your faith. You may come out the other side scarred, but those scars will serve as a reminder of where you came from and what you can overcome with God on your side (and He is on your side, I promise!).

I see so often that when people experience a tragic event, they distance themselves from God. I'm guilty of this - when my mom had cancer, I refused to pray for months because I was so angry with Him, and I was scared that He was going to tell me that I was going to lose her. I no longer enjoyed going to church, and I stopped reading my Bible. I felt abandoned and depressed. It wasn't until I went to a summer church camp that I realized that the only person I was hurting in distancing myself from God was myself. God had not abandoned me, I had simply moved away from Him. I reopened my heart to Him and He filled me with such incredible peace. He completely restored the joy that had seemingly disappeared from my life.

When you allow God to use your pain to grow you faith in Him, it's kind of like leveling up in a video game. Sure, there's gonna be new twists and turns and monsters to fight, but you've got new weapons and armor. New doors will open for you. 

It may still be difficult to understand why Job had to suffer so much. I'm sure many of us can relate to him in that way - I have received so many prayer requests and we're only one month into 2018. But take comfort in the fact that while it may be dark now, blessings are coming. Psalms 30:5 is a great reminder of this:

"Weeping may take you over at night, but joy comes in the morning."

 Job serves as a reminder to Christians to persevere through trials. Suffering is unavoidable, but the good news is that we serve a God who takes our pain and turns it into something beautiful. He is a good father, and He is the ultimate comforter.

He hasn't left your side.

Rejoice in His goodness.

You're going to be okay, because you're not alone -

He's right there with you. 

_________________________

If any of you are struggling with anything and would like some prayer, please shoot me an email, DM, or comment on this post!

_________________________

Songs to comfort you in your trials:

Hills & Valleys - Tauren Wells

Oh My Soul - Casting Crowns

I Won't Let You Go - Switchfoot

Even If - MercyMe

New Year, New You

Happy new year, beautiful friends!

It's the beginning of January, A.K.A. "New Year, New Me" season. I've seen hundreds of posts on social media about resolutions, the top ones being:

1. Eating clean

2. Getting in shape/losing weight

3. Living life to the fullest

These are all wonderful things! You should want to improve yourself, and I will be praying that you stick to your resolutions! 

What I want to do however, is push you one step further. 

All of the things listed above have one thing in common: they are all surface level. If you're looking to these things to make you happier, feel more fulfilled, or love yourself more, there's a way easier way to achieve your goal...and it starts within.

I encourage you to take out the 2018 resolutions list that you made and add one more little thing to it -

seek Jesus daily.

It's something that we're called to do. 1 Chronicles 16:11 says:

"Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually."

That statement in itself seems so simple, but what does it really mean?

It's not the same for everyone. Every single person has a different way that they feel connected to Jesus. For some, it's listening to music. Some read their bible. I personally hear God the clearest and feel the closest to Him when I journal. Try out a couple things, see what works for you. It doesn't matter how you do it, He just loves hearing from you!

Building and maintaining a relationship with God is the highest form of self improvement. It is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. The closer you get to Him, the more comfortable you'll feel in your own skin. You'll feel more successful and satisfied. You'll feel yourself become more gentle and loving, more like Jesus. He won't just open doors for you, He'll knock down walls for you.

 Proverbs 16:3 says "commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."

Let 2018 be the year that you let Jesus take over your life.

He can do amazing things for you and through you when you let Him sit in the driver's seat.

___________

Songs to hype you up this new year:

Fix My Eyes - for KING & COUNTRY

Follow You - Ben Rector

There's No "I" in Team, but There is in Anxiety

This week, I want to talk about something that hits close to home. Something that I have fallen victim to almost my entire life. Something that I know a lot of you struggle with daily  -

it's our good ol' friend anxiety. 

You know what I'm talking about - the pit in your stomach, waking up in the middle of the night sweating with you heart pounding out of your chest. I don't know a single person in my life who doesn't struggle with it. It seems to be a world wide epidemic, contaminating the minds of over 40 million Americans. So many people struggle with it, which begs the question:

why are we all so dang anxious?

I've always looked at anxiety as if it was a part of me; something that had to with a misfiring in my brain and therefore out of my control. I've spent countless nights laying awake in bed absolutely begging God to take away my anxious thoughts, but to no avail. I told myself that this was a burden that I was going to have to learn to live with.

What I didn't realize was that I was unintentionally imprisoning myself in my own mind.

When the devil wants to attack you, he's going to first set up camp in your mind. He's going to whisper nasty thoughts in your ear all night, making you worry and drift from bad thought to bad thought. His goal is to fill your head with so much junk that you couldn't possibly hear God's whisper.

And over 40 million of us fall for it. Every. Single. Day. 

What I never thought to consider however, is that I could actually be the root cause of my anxiety. I was choosing to fall victim to my anxiety because it was "out of my control," when in reality my lifestyle was what was causing me to have sleepless nights.

You see, we live in a world that tells us that the decisions we make are important. Our society tells us that we are in control of our destiny, and therefore we have to be very careful and take our time when making decisions. We are told daily "the choices that you make are going to impact you for the rest of your life, so choose wisely!"

If you're like me, that's where a lot of your anxiety comes from.

Fear of making the "wrong" decision has turned me into a major people pleaser. I am ashamed to say that I base almost all of my decisions on what will look good to others. I avoid any type of conflict because I live in a constant fear that I'll say or do the wrong thing and upset the people around me. For you, maybe it's the same thing. Maybe it's deciding where you're going to go for college. Maybe it's whether or not you should break up with your boyfriend. Maybe it's what you should have for dinner.

Maybe you spend so much time weighing the pros and cons of a situation that you end up just pushing it off, and you mask that procrastination by saying "I'm praying about it, but I haven't gotten a clear answer." 

By doing this, we give ourselves opportunities for anxiety and we call them "options."

But I'm going to let you in on a little secret - 

it doesn't matter.

You're staying awake all night and making yourself sick over something that God has already worked out. By allowing those anxious thoughts to ruminate in your brain, you're implying that you are in control of your life, when in reality God is the one who oversees it all. He knows you inside and out. He knows every decision you're going to make, and whether it's the right one or the wrong one He has already designed a plan for your life and you cannot possibly get in His way. If your heart is in the right place, then it doesn't matter what decision you make. People say "you made your bed, now lie in it" and I hate it. 

If you made the bed the wrong way, apologize and remake the dang bed. 

You're allowed to mess up. You're allowed to pick the wrong decision because God already has it all worked out. 

Stop worrying so much!

Your brain is a sacred place created by God - it's where He resides, where he communicates with you, and where He reveals to you your destiny. The next time you feel those anxious thoughts creeping in, yell at the devil to get his hands off of God's property.

Here's the bottom line: you're going to have hard decisions to make, and the enemy is going to use those to make your mind an anxiety ridden warzone. All you have to do is remind him how big your God is, and remember that He has your entire destiny completely mapped out.

I invite you this week to take control of your anxiety. 

Shift your intention from "how are people thinking of me?" to "how am I thinking of others?" Stop worrying about what "might" happen and remember that God has it all worked out. Start saying no to people when you want to say no to them, no matter how upset they may get with you. 

God is too good for you to stay anxious. 

Jesus is looking at you with nothing but love. No matter what choices you make, he is sitting on His throne and saying:

"This is my child, and with them I am well pleased."

Learning to Walk

I'm back!

I haven't been able to post for awhile because I was sick with some kind of terrible plague (and by plague, I mean a head cold - but it felt like the plague). I'm better now though, so let's do this!

I recently attended a Salt Company retreat at a cute little camp called Hidden Acres. Mark Vance (a pastor at Cornerstone Church in Ames) spoke, & I swear some of the things he said were meant specifically for me. I left feeling filled to the brim with love for Jesus. 

One of the things that he talked about was the story of the prodigal son from Luke 15. If you're unfamiliar with this story, let me fill you in:

Basically a father has two sons. The older of the sons is hardworking & determined to make the father proud, while the younger is irresponsible & resentful towards him. One day, the younger of the two sons tells his dad that he wants his inheritance immediately, then takes his money & goes into the city where he blows his entire life's savings on gambling, prostitutes, and other worldly pleasures. Eventually, he comes to the realization that he's going to have to return to his father if he wants food or a roof over his head. On the journey home, he rehearses what he's going to say to his father the entire time: "Father, I have sinned against heaven & against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your slaves." He knew that he messed up & was ready to live the life of a slave.

However, before he had even stepped foot on the property, his father saw him and ran to him. Instead of the rage & disappointment he expected, he was met with compassion and love from his father. He threw a big party in honor of his arriving home. 

Wait, what?

I think we can all agree that he messed up pretty badly, so why on earth did his father throw a welcome home party? Well, the answer is simple really - 

because he loves him. 

Think of it this way: he didn't care how badly he messed up, he was just overjoyed by the fact that his son was home!

The coolest part is that this is exactly how God looks at us. 

We sin constantly. Not a single day goes by where we don't sin. Not one. Yet our Heavenly Father loves us the exact same. No matter how far we stray, how often we sin, or how badly we mess up, He loves us the exact same. 

It was explained to me this way: 

Let's say it's a couple years down the road & you have a baby, & that baby is just learning how to walk. They stumble about, sometimes running into things, sometimes hurting themselves, and toppling over often. They take a few steps, but then they fall down. Would you be angry with them for falling? Of course not! You would be overjoyed by their stumbling, because that means that they're developing correctly. 

God doesn't look at your sin with disappointment, Jesus took care of that. Because of the cross He looks at us with nothing but warm smiles and the love of a parent. He knows that you're not perfect & that you're going to mess up (a lot!), but He is glowing at the fact that you're bumbling and stumbling around because it means that you're trying to walk towards Him. 

You are allowed to mess up. Don't beat yourself up over it.

He loves you no matter what, & He is oh so proud of you.

Keep stumbling baby!

"The Defense Would Like to Call the Next Witness to the Stand..."

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

In Acts chapter 26, Paul defends himself to King Agrippa against accusations made by the Jews. He hadn't done anything wrong, but Christians were a highly persecuted people by Jews and Gentiles alike (sound familiar?). If you are familiar with the story of Paul, then you know about the whole Saul to Paul transformation. If you haven't heard this story, let me give you a brief synopsis:

Paul used to be called Saul-King Saul, actually. He was not a good man - he persecuted saints; throwing them in jail and even sentencing them to death. He pillaged synagogues and even traveled to other cities to put believers to death. His life took a complete 180 however, when Jesus Christ himself appeared to him and told him that He was changing Saul's name to Paul and was sending him out to be a witness for God. Paul did exactly that, eventually becoming one of the most influential witnesses for Christ ever.

So when Paul was called to testify and defend himself, he told Agrippa his story - just like he told everyone else. He told him about his own experiences. He told him the truth. 

The people in the king's court didn't respond very kindly - they called him insane, saying that he was out of his mind. Paul gently replied that he was not crazy, that he was just telling the truth. Turning to the king, he asked Agrippa if he believed the teaching of prophets (basically, "do you believe that Jesus is the Messiah?"), to which Agrippa replied "do you think you can persuade me to become a Christian in such a short time?" (Acts 26:28). 

Paul replied, "short time or long - I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains" (Acts 26:29). 

Now how amazing is that?

Paul demonstrated perfectly what it looks like to be a true witness for Christ. If you watch T.V. shows like Law and Order or other courtroom dramas, you know that the job of the witness is to go up to the stand, swear on the Bible to tell the truth, and report to the courtroom what they experienced. It is not the witness's job to decide who's guilty and who's innocent, that's the judge's job. All the witness has to do is tell the truth. 

If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then you are called to be a witness for Him. Kind of intimidating right? Well, the way you're thinking about it, it probably sounds like it - but I promise that it's not as hard as you think. 

You don't have to know all of the answers to be a witness. If someone asks you something about the bible and you don't know the answer - 

listen up, I'm about to blow your mind

- that's 100% okay. In fact, it's expected. No one has all of the answers! It's totally fine to tell someone who has challenged your beliefs that you don't know the answer to one of their questions. All you have to say is "that's a good question! Maybe I can look into it and we can meet up and talk about what I find" or "I don't know, all I know is what my experiences are."

As long as your response is full of respect and love, then you did your job as a witness. You shouldn't shove your beliefs down the person's throat (as much as I would like to - but people don't like being choked or smothered by the Gospel, believe it or not). All you have to do is tell people the truth - that Jesus Christ is the son of God, was sent to earth to live a blameless life, died on the cross for our sins, and conquered sin and death by rising from the dead. 

That same spirit that rose Jesus from the dead is alive inside of you -

What are you going to do with that power?

Will you be a witness for Christ?