trials — Faith — The Light Collective

I just graduated college in the middle of a global pandemic.

If you had asked me four years ago where I thought I was going to end up after graduation, never in a million years would I have said “unemployed and moving back in with my parents”. Never. If you had told freshman year Bailey that’s where she was headed, she would have dropped out.

And yet, that’s exactly where I am. I have the degree I worked so hard for, and every single job I have applied for has told me no. I won’t be able to afford to live on my own, so it seems that moving back in with my parents is the only option. I’ve lived on my own for four years, and now all of my furniture is going into a storage unit to collect cobwebs. My residence will be my childhood bedroom. My income will be next to nonexistent. I feel completely and utterly out of control - so here I am, degree in hand, completely lost and unsure about what’s next.

On top of all of that, I have now more than ever fallen into the social media comparison trap. I feel like there has been an enormous push on social media to really “take advantage of quarantine” - in other words, if you’re not exercising daily, eating healthy, or starting a business right now, then you’re wasting your time. I’ve been struggling on and off with this weird sense of guilt about not feeling motivated to do all of these things.

On the flip side of that guilty feeling is the reality that the current state of the world is…well, chaotic. I should be giving myself grace and being gentle with myself as I learn how to navigate this new situation, but I just can’t shake this overwhelming sense of guilt, dismay, and absolute defeat.

Disappointment doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about my current situation.

And it breaks my heart to know that so many of you are in the same boat.

I think we can all agree that the current state of the world sucks. It sucks. And there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. We are completely helpless and out of control.

So how do we move forward? How do we keep our faith when the disappointments just keep coming?

Well, the first thing we have to acknowledge is probably the most obvious: we were never in control in the first place.

We as humans constantly make the mistake of thinking that we are in control of our lives and what happens in them, and while we do make our own decisions and exercise our free will daily, it is crucial that we understand how involved God is. God doesn’t just sit and observe from above, He is an active participant in our lives. He controls what time you wake up and how many red lights you get stopped at on your way to work. He controls whether or not they’re out of toilet paper at the supermarket. He controls whether or not we have breath in our lungs and whether or not our hearts continue to beat. God is in the details of your life - even the ones that seem small and insignificant.

He is in control of everything.

The second truth that must be acknowledged is that God is good.

I know you read that, but read it again.

God does everything for the good of His holy kingdom. He is constantly preparing a place for us and moving the parts and pieces necessary to get us to the point of Christ’s return.

Here’s the thing though -

Yes, everything He does is for His kingdom, but we’re all heirs…so that kingdom He’s building? Yeah, that’s for you. You get to take part in that. You get to live with your Creator in paradise for eternity. Everything God does is for the good of the Kingdom, but you’re a part of that - meaning that He is so good that what is in the best interest of the kingdom is in your best interest as well.

I cannot stress this enough: God is good. He did not forget about you. Bad stuff is not happening to harm you, but to form you - form you into someone who is more like His perfect Son. Form you into the person you were created to be in the first place.

So if we take these two truths at face value, we can draw one conclusion: that this is all happening for a reason.

Now you’re probably thinking, “but Baileyyyy…that doesn’t make it any easier!”

Girl. I know.

I don’t think there’s anything that I could say to make this situation better for you, no matter how badly I want to. I struggle with my current reality daily. It’s not going to be easy for awhile, but you know what? We don’t need ease. You and me, we don’t need perfect. We don’t need simple.

We need to stand firm in our faith, draw near to the Father, and cling to the hope that we have in Him - and we do have hope in Him!

You’re going to be alright. You’re going to be able to look back at this absolute mess and be grateful about the way that it happened. At the end of it all, you’re going to be able to dust yourself off, smile, and say “wow, if I could make it through that, then I am beyond ready for whatever’s ahead of me.”

God is in the details of your life, and He will never abandon you. Every single thing-good and bad-is happening for your benefit. Find your peace in that.

And hey - you’re gonna be okay.

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This is a really weird time, and I know for a fact that I am not the only one struggling with the current state of my life. If you need prayer, please reach out to me! I want to create a community where praying for each other is the usual thing, so if you have any prayer, big or small, click here.

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Here’s some scripture to encourage you as you learn to navigate this season. Write these down, hang them on your mirror, and read them out loud to declare them over your life every time you see them!

Jeremiah 29:11 - “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans that are good for you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Peter 1:3-4 - Because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, we now live with great expectation. We have a priceless inheritance - an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.

Romans 12:12 - Rejoice and be confident in hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

and here’s some songs:

Already There - Casting Crowns

Breakthrough (Live) - Red Rocks Worship

Soul’s Anthem - Tori Kelly

Sweet Serendipity - Lee DeWyze

To the One (Live) - UPPERROOM

Come to Me (Spontaneous) - Bethel Music, Jenn & Brian Johnson

Gravity - Jenn & Brian Johnson

For the past few weeks, God has really been putting it on my heart to read Job. I've heard the story a million times, but He has opened my eyes to a couple new revelations that I want to share with you. For those of you unfamiliar with Job's story, let me fill you in:

Job was completely blameless and lived a life that was pleasing to the Lord. Because of this, God blessed him abundantly - he had a wonderful family, tons of livestock (which was a sign of extreme wealth), and good health. One day, Satan came to present himself before the Lord. The two talk and God agrees to let Satan test Job two times to prove that he truly is a man who fears the Lord. In the first test, God allows Satan to take away his sons, daughters, and his livestock. In the second test, God allows Satan to inflict great wounds upon Job. Job becomes miserable and curses the day he was born.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

In the end, God blesses Job with twice the amount of what he had before. More livestock, happy family, better health...but despite the blessings, it's hard to look back on all of the terrible things that happened and see God's goodness.

I'm sure you've heard over and over "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." But when tragedy strikes, how can we be sure? Job suffered so greatly, and for what? To prove a point to Satan? If God is so good, why does He allow bad things to happen? How good is God really?

In this life, terrible things are going to happen. This world is beyond imperfect, and unfortunately that's never going to change. There is however, something to keep in mind -

As much as you may hate to hear it, that cliché saying is 100% correct - God really is good. In fact, God is so good that he repurposes your pain and positions you to receive blessings in the future. He works through all of the hurt that you're feeling and builds up your faith. You may come out the other side scarred, but those scars will serve as a reminder of where you came from and what you can overcome with God on your side (and He is on your side, I promise!).

I see so often that when people experience a tragic event, they distance themselves from God. I'm guilty of this - when my mom had cancer, I refused to pray for months because I was so angry with Him, and I was scared that He was going to tell me that I was going to lose her. I no longer enjoyed going to church, and I stopped reading my Bible. I felt abandoned and depressed. It wasn't until I went to a summer church camp that I realized that the only person I was hurting in distancing myself from God was myself. God had not abandoned me, I had simply moved away from Him. I reopened my heart to Him and He filled me with such incredible peace. He completely restored the joy that had seemingly disappeared from my life.

When you allow God to use your pain to grow you faith in Him, it's kind of like leveling up in a video game. Sure, there's gonna be new twists and turns and monsters to fight, but you've got new weapons and armor. New doors will open for you.

It may still be difficult to understand why Job had to suffer so much. I'm sure many of us can relate to him in that way - I have received so many prayer requests and we're only one month into 2018. But take comfort in the fact that while it may be dark now, blessings are coming. Psalms 30:5 is a great reminder of this:

"Weeping may take you over at night, but joy comes in the morning."

Job serves as a reminder to Christians to persevere through trials. Suffering is unavoidable, but the good news is that we serve a God who takes our pain and turns it into something beautiful. He is a good father, and He is the ultimate comforter.

He hasn't left your side.

Rejoice in His goodness.

You're going to be okay, because you're not alone -

He's right there with you.

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If any of you are struggling with anything and would like some prayer, please shoot me an email, DM, or comment on this post!

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Songs to comfort you in your trials:

Hills & Valleys - Tauren Wells

Oh My Soul - Casting Crowns

I Won't Let You Go - Switchfoot

Even If - MercyMe