Joy is a Fruit

Earlier this week I was scrolling through Pinterest, on a mission to find pictures for the vision board I was constructing in my office. I scrolled past many cheesy quotes (things like “dream it, do it!” and “you got this, girlboss!”), but eventually my eyes fell upon one that caused me to pause. It read:

“Happiness is a mood, joy is a fruit.”

Wow.

If you grew up going to church, then you probably remember singing that one song about the fruit of the Spirit – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” I loved that song when I was little. Now it’s going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day.

It’s not just a song though, it’s a real verse from Galatians – Galatians 5:22-23 to be exact. It goes like this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against these there is no law.”

I have had the fruits of the Spirit memorized since I was old enough to go to vacation Bible school, and therefore have known that joy is one of them for a very long time – I had not, however, really taken the time to think about what that truly meant until I read that quote.

You see, as Christians, we are called to live our lives radically differently than how the world expects us to live. This (as I’m sure you are more than aware) is actually incredibly difficult considering the fact that our spirit and our flesh are constantly at war with each other. The verses in Galatians 5 leading up to 22-23 actually demonstrate this:

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these.”

The things listed above are what we naturally lean towards, and this is solidified by social media, school, and just society in general. Our flesh desires to be part of the world – to fit in regardless of the sin. So if we naturally lean in that direction, that would imply that leaning in the opposite direction (towards the fruit of the Spirit) is something that takes conscious practice. It implies that it is not something that comes naturally.

I have never thought of joy in this way, and I think that is mostly due to the fact that I have confused “joy” with “happiness”. The two may be synonyms in the thesaurus, but biblically, they could not be more different.

Happiness is a mood, which means that it is fleeting and dependent upon your circumstances and surroundings.

Joy is a fruit, which means that it is solid and rooted completely in your faith and love for Jesus.

Happiness is earthly.

Joy is Heavenly.

I spend a lot of my time trying to better myself – I go to therapy, make diet and exercise plans, journal…all things that, I believe, will turn me into a person who is joyful. I have been tricked into believing that joy is a destination to reach, which makes me yearn for the “next thing” –

“When I get married, I’ll have joy.”

“When I have a job that I love, I’ll have joy.”

“When I lose some weight, I’ll have joy.”

And on.

And on.

And on.

The cycle repeats until I die – and guess what?

I never reach my destination.

And the enemy is so tricky for making me think like that, isn’t he?

By distracting me with thoughts of what could be, I have been inadvertently tricked into believing that it is not only irrational, but impossible to have joy in the present – and I didn’t even notice.

It started small. My anxiety got a little worse, nibbling at the corners of my brain and stomach. Then, I started to hate my job and slack off. Then, I started to get grumpy and resentful towards my boyfriend, friends, and family – and the next thing I knew I was spiraling out of control with discontent.

And that is no way to live, is it?

I had grown so used to hungering for my future that I neglected filling myself up in the present. I was blind to the beauty that existed around me because I had been convinced that beauty only comes from circumstances. I wanted to be joyful, but I was confusing it with happiness, therefore making it unreachable in my current place.

Joy is a fruit. Fruit growth takes practice. It takes patience. It takes time. It takes lots of mindfulness and prayer. Learning to be joyful is an art form – and it isn’t one that is going to happen overnight.

Your enemy does not want you to have joy, and knows that you naturally lean in the direction of sin. He wants to keep you distracted with fantasies of happiness, stories of “what ifs”, keeping joy unreachable and the cycle unending. He is incredibly sneaky – so much so that, like me, you may not even notice that you’re being deceived.

That being said,  you are going to have to fight to find joy. You’re going to have to fight with all you’ve got. You’re going to have to live in a way that is radically different from the way the world wants you to live.

Despite what your enemy whispers to you, there is joy in each day. There is joy even in the valley – you just have to look a little harder.

Don’t stop fighting for joy. This world may be broken, but God’s goodness still gives new breath to our bones and light to our lives each day.

Keep fighting the Good Fight.

Burn the House Down

I am currently in what has probably been the hardest season of my life.

Events transpired that I was sure I wasn’t going to recover from. I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t eat or get out of bed for days at a time. It felt like someone had burnt my house the ground.

I used that metaphor a lot, because it was the only way I could put what I was feeling into words. It felt like someone burnt my house to the ground.

And I guess God heard me say that.

On my way to church today, I saw an enormous cloud of smoke. Now, I don’t know much about fire, but what I do know is that dark grey means that whatever is burning is still currently burning, whereas white means that the fire has been extinguished - and this cloud was dark grey.

As I drove closer, I could see the source: a house seated on top of a hill that was completely engulfed in flames.

I didn’t see any emergency vehicles outside of the home, so I pulled out my phone and typed in 911. I was still on the interstate, but I knew what exit the house was closest to. My finger hovered over the dial button, but then I saw a sheriff drive by. I exhaled, thinking that he was on his way to help, but became nervous again when I noticed his lights weren’t on. Was I the only one seeing this fire? What if there are people inside? Should I call 911, or is it under control?

I thought about these questions all the way to church. With 911 still typed into my keypad, I parked and got out of my car. You could see the smoke from the parking lot, and other people were definitely noticing it. Surely one of these people called the fire department, right?

My mental debate was interrupted by one of the parking attendants telling me good morning. I smiled and said good morning back, but then I stopped.

“Hey there’s a house on fire over there, do you think I should call 911? Or do you think someone has already done it?”

The minute the words left my mouth I internally cringed. It felt like a silly question to ask the man who had helped me park, because - to my knowledge - he had the same amount of information I had.

“Oh, no need!” he replied. “My brother actually works for the fire department, that’s an intentional burn.”

I’m sorry…did he just say “intentional burn?”

“I was confused because the house looked so nice,” he continued. “It had a really pretty exterior. I guess it was more of an internal problem.”

Internal problem? Intentional burn?

These words echoed around in my mind on my walk into the building. Internal problem. Intentional burn.

Click.

Queue the tears.

I had been saying for months that it felt like someone had burnt my house to the ground. I was so broken down and angry with God, because it felt like all of the things that I cared about the most were taken away from me. I felt so empty and out of control.

I couldn’t see it a few months ago, but I realize now that the “house” I lived in was disgustingly unhealthy. Yes, I looked put together and pretty on the outside, but on the inside I was constantly anxious. I had become comfortable with being uncomfortable. The situation that I was in was completely hindering my growth, but because it was familiar, I wanted to stay in it - and I would have if God hadn’t stepped in.

If God hadn’t allowed fire to be set to my metaphorical house - my plans, my relationships, all of it - I would have settled for the mediocrity I was living in. I would have stayed right where I was, as the person I was. I had no idea how harmful my thinking patterns were and how little I valued myself. I had absolutely no idea that my mental state was as toxic as it was.

If I could see how unsound my house was at the beginning of all of this…I would have set fire to it myself.

I couldn’t see it though. Thank goodness that God did, and He cared enough to remove me from it.

If I’ve learned one thing through this incredibly difficult season, it’s that the presence of hardships does not negate the presence of God. God loves and cares about you enough to allow trials and difficult seasons into your life so that you can grow. Pain allows us to become more like Jesus.

I won’t lie, growing is painful. It hurts to grow. But the person that you become on the other side of the trial is a person worth meeting.

I mean it when I say I wouldn’t change a thing about these last few months. It has been incredibly difficult, but you know what? I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m surrounded by people who love me. Jesus has filled holes in my heart that I didn’t even know were there.

I’m still rebuilding my house, and some days are better than others - but at least now I have a firm foundation to build upon. In the midst of the storm, I have hope.

It’s crazy how Jesus works. It feels dichotomous - that even in the middle of incredible sorrow, he can give you joy. He can give you hope. He can restore you.

All you gotta do is ask Him.

I know that some of you may be going through a difficult season right now too. If you need prayer, click here.

You are so well loved and looked after.

Just because life sucks right now doesn’t mean that He has forgotten about you.

And hey - this season isn’t going to last forever. Joy is coming.

(If you don’t believe me, read Job).

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Songs to listen to in this season:

Come to Me (Spontaneous) - Bethel Music, Jenn Johnson, Brian Johnson

Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne

Raise a Hallelujah (Live) - Bethel Music, Jonathan David Helser

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In Times of Trial

For the past few weeks, God has really been putting it on my heart to read Job. I've heard the story a million times, but He has opened my eyes to a couple new revelations that I want to share with you. For those of you unfamiliar with Job's story, let me fill you in:

Job was completely blameless and lived a life that was pleasing to the Lord. Because of this, God blessed him abundantly - he had a wonderful family, tons of livestock (which was a sign of extreme wealth), and good health. One day, Satan came to present himself before the Lord. The two talk and God agrees to let Satan test Job two times to prove that he truly is a man who fears the Lord. In the first test, God allows Satan to take away his sons, daughters, and his livestock. In the second test, God allows Satan to inflict great wounds upon Job. Job becomes miserable and curses the day he was born.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

In the end, God blesses Job with twice the amount of what he had before. More livestock, happy family, better health...but despite the blessings, it's hard to look back on all of the terrible things that happened and see God's goodness.

I'm sure you've heard over and over "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." But when tragedy strikes, how can we be sure? Job suffered so greatly, and for what? To prove a point to Satan? If God is so good, why does He allow bad things to happen? How good is God really? 

In this life, terrible things are going to happen. This world is beyond imperfect, and unfortunately that's never going to change. There is however, something to keep in mind -

As much as you may hate to hear it, that cliché saying is 100% correct - God really is good. In fact, God is so good that he repurposes your pain and positions you to receive blessings in the future. He works through all of the hurt that you're feeling and builds up your faith. You may come out the other side scarred, but those scars will serve as a reminder of where you came from and what you can overcome with God on your side (and He is on your side, I promise!).

I see so often that when people experience a tragic event, they distance themselves from God. I'm guilty of this - when my mom had cancer, I refused to pray for months because I was so angry with Him, and I was scared that He was going to tell me that I was going to lose her. I no longer enjoyed going to church, and I stopped reading my Bible. I felt abandoned and depressed. It wasn't until I went to a summer church camp that I realized that the only person I was hurting in distancing myself from God was myself. God had not abandoned me, I had simply moved away from Him. I reopened my heart to Him and He filled me with such incredible peace. He completely restored the joy that had seemingly disappeared from my life.

When you allow God to use your pain to grow you faith in Him, it's kind of like leveling up in a video game. Sure, there's gonna be new twists and turns and monsters to fight, but you've got new weapons and armor. New doors will open for you. 

It may still be difficult to understand why Job had to suffer so much. I'm sure many of us can relate to him in that way - I have received so many prayer requests and we're only one month into 2018. But take comfort in the fact that while it may be dark now, blessings are coming. Psalms 30:5 is a great reminder of this:

"Weeping may take you over at night, but joy comes in the morning."

 Job serves as a reminder to Christians to persevere through trials. Suffering is unavoidable, but the good news is that we serve a God who takes our pain and turns it into something beautiful. He is a good father, and He is the ultimate comforter.

He hasn't left your side.

Rejoice in His goodness.

You're going to be okay, because you're not alone -

He's right there with you. 

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If any of you are struggling with anything and would like some prayer, please shoot me an email, DM, or comment on this post!

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Songs to comfort you in your trials:

Hills & Valleys - Tauren Wells

Oh My Soul - Casting Crowns

I Won't Let You Go - Switchfoot

Even If - MercyMe