Joy is a Fruit

Earlier this week I was scrolling through Pinterest, on a mission to find pictures for the vision board I was constructing in my office. I scrolled past many cheesy quotes (things like “dream it, do it!” and “you got this, girlboss!”), but eventually my eyes fell upon one that caused me to pause. It read:

“Happiness is a mood, joy is a fruit.”

Wow.

If you grew up going to church, then you probably remember singing that one song about the fruit of the Spirit – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” I loved that song when I was little. Now it’s going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day.

It’s not just a song though, it’s a real verse from Galatians – Galatians 5:22-23 to be exact. It goes like this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against these there is no law.”

I have had the fruits of the Spirit memorized since I was old enough to go to vacation Bible school, and therefore have known that joy is one of them for a very long time – I had not, however, really taken the time to think about what that truly meant until I read that quote.

You see, as Christians, we are called to live our lives radically differently than how the world expects us to live. This (as I’m sure you are more than aware) is actually incredibly difficult considering the fact that our spirit and our flesh are constantly at war with each other. The verses in Galatians 5 leading up to 22-23 actually demonstrate this:

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these.”

The things listed above are what we naturally lean towards, and this is solidified by social media, school, and just society in general. Our flesh desires to be part of the world – to fit in regardless of the sin. So if we naturally lean in that direction, that would imply that leaning in the opposite direction (towards the fruit of the Spirit) is something that takes conscious practice. It implies that it is not something that comes naturally.

I have never thought of joy in this way, and I think that is mostly due to the fact that I have confused “joy” with “happiness”. The two may be synonyms in the thesaurus, but biblically, they could not be more different.

Happiness is a mood, which means that it is fleeting and dependent upon your circumstances and surroundings.

Joy is a fruit, which means that it is solid and rooted completely in your faith and love for Jesus.

Happiness is earthly.

Joy is Heavenly.

I spend a lot of my time trying to better myself – I go to therapy, make diet and exercise plans, journal…all things that, I believe, will turn me into a person who is joyful. I have been tricked into believing that joy is a destination to reach, which makes me yearn for the “next thing” –

“When I get married, I’ll have joy.”

“When I have a job that I love, I’ll have joy.”

“When I lose some weight, I’ll have joy.”

And on.

And on.

And on.

The cycle repeats until I die – and guess what?

I never reach my destination.

And the enemy is so tricky for making me think like that, isn’t he?

By distracting me with thoughts of what could be, I have been inadvertently tricked into believing that it is not only irrational, but impossible to have joy in the present – and I didn’t even notice.

It started small. My anxiety got a little worse, nibbling at the corners of my brain and stomach. Then, I started to hate my job and slack off. Then, I started to get grumpy and resentful towards my boyfriend, friends, and family – and the next thing I knew I was spiraling out of control with discontent.

And that is no way to live, is it?

I had grown so used to hungering for my future that I neglected filling myself up in the present. I was blind to the beauty that existed around me because I had been convinced that beauty only comes from circumstances. I wanted to be joyful, but I was confusing it with happiness, therefore making it unreachable in my current place.

Joy is a fruit. Fruit growth takes practice. It takes patience. It takes time. It takes lots of mindfulness and prayer. Learning to be joyful is an art form – and it isn’t one that is going to happen overnight.

Your enemy does not want you to have joy, and knows that you naturally lean in the direction of sin. He wants to keep you distracted with fantasies of happiness, stories of “what ifs”, keeping joy unreachable and the cycle unending. He is incredibly sneaky – so much so that, like me, you may not even notice that you’re being deceived.

That being said,  you are going to have to fight to find joy. You’re going to have to fight with all you’ve got. You’re going to have to live in a way that is radically different from the way the world wants you to live.

Despite what your enemy whispers to you, there is joy in each day. There is joy even in the valley – you just have to look a little harder.

Don’t stop fighting for joy. This world may be broken, but God’s goodness still gives new breath to our bones and light to our lives each day.

Keep fighting the Good Fight.

How to be Beautiful

I hate that you opened this.

I mean maybe it’s because you genuinely enjoy my writing and read everything I post, but odds are you clicked on it because you want to know how to feel beautiful -

which implies that you don’t think you are already.

I know, I know, lots of jumping to conclusions, and it’s only the first paragraph of this post - but am I wrong?

When I was younger, I was obsessed with this book series called “The Clique”. It was centered around these rich, beautiful, teenage girls who always wore designer clothes, lived in sprawling mansions, and were the most popular girls at their school. The main character, Massie Block, was this privileged, gorgeous girl who didn’t take crap from anyone. She was actually quite the bully, and is the antagonist for a majority of the series -

and I wanted to be just like her.

I was a quiet, awkward middle schooler who had braces and wore the same pair of excessively bedazzled Miss Me jeans pretty much every single day. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, and I was a complete pushover. To me, Massie Block represented this beautiful and strong idealized version of myself that I wanted so badly to reach. I wanted to wear all designer clothing. I wanted to live in a house so gigantic that I had to wear a bell so my parents knew where I was. I wanted to have comebacks so quick that no one would dare mess with me. I wanted big boobs, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth - just like Massie.

I was obsessed. I would literally sit in my room and google “how to be like Massie Block” and take notes. I read every forum, every Wikihow, every single article that even mentioned her name. I wanted to be just like her.

What my 13 year old mind failed to understand was that, no matter how much I changed my outward appearance and actions, it wouldn’t fix the emotional turmoil that I was experiencing in my mind. I thought that if I was beautiful and rich and had everything I wanted at my fingertips, that it would make me love myself. That it would make me love my body. That I would look in the mirror and absolutely adore my reflection.

And you know what? I was right.

Now, 10 years later, I have all of the things that I wanted. I have clear skin. I have straight teeth. I have designer clothing. I have gorgeous friends. I’m quick with my tongue. I still don’t have boobs, but I do have an athletic frame that can wear just about anything. I am beautiful, and I have 2000+ Instagram followers to prove it. Middle school me was right - all I needed were these things. I no longer struggle with my self-esteem, I fully know my worth.

Haha. Just kidding.

It is very rare that I look in the mirror and like what I see. I think my face is too round, my stomach isn’t flat enough, my legs are too short - and these don’t even begin to scratch the surface of my insecurities. I’m guilty of weighing myself constantly, and punishing my body when the number on the scale goes up. I go through phases where I am fully convinced that all of my friends secretly hate me, and that my boyfriend is going to realize how much of a mess I am and leave me.

So, I scroll.

My obsession with Massie Block may have dissipated, but it is now manifesting in other ways - a Pinterest filled with “body inspo” pins. Bookmarked photos of beautiful women with flowing hair and rockin’ abs on Instagram. Obsessively scrolling through the exercise tag on Tik Tok. Googling new fad diets, and taking pages of notes on them so I can lose the 3 pounds I gained over the holiday weekend. I am constantly overwhelming my brain with comparison, taking note of and obsessing over the things that I wish I was.

I, like so many people, am stuck in a vicious and unhealthy cycle - a cycle perpetuated by the belief that I am not enough. The belief that if I was just a little bit better, I would be happy -

and my friends, let me tell you: this concept leads to nowhere but the path of disappointment and shame.

You see, there is always going to be someone better. There is always going to be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone smarter - someone who has the things you don’t. And then suddenly, without you even noticing, that “little” bit of change you were trying to make has turned into an unhealthy obsession fueled by an unreachable standard.

Now, what I don’t want you to hear me saying is that you should never try to improve yourself, because that is completely untrue. There is always room for growth and improvement, and to quote my favorite author Rachel Hollis, “you should always try to be better than the person you were yesterday - even if it’s only by an inch.”

I am all for self-improvement, but the way our world tells us to go about it is, in my opinion, completely wrong. I am a firm believer that, even on your worst day, you are worthy of love and compassion- even if you are not where you want to be yet.

So, with that in mind, how can we begin to love ourselves where we are? As we are?

First and foremost, we must begin to understand and accept the fact that God isn’t finished with us yet. Philippians 1:6 says this:

“Be confident in this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ’s return.”

God isn’t just going to leave you where you are. In fact, He is doing little things to improve you every day, oftentimes without you even noticing. You are being molded and improved upon by your Maker every single day; He will never abandon or forsake you.

Not only that, but God’s standard of beauty is different than the world’s. You might look in the mirror and think “wow, I could lose a few pounds”, but God looks at that same reflection and smiles in adoration. He sees someone made in His image. He sees you as a work of art, made and completely adored by Him. He cherishes you. You are His masterpiece - even with that zit on the end of your nose that makes you look like Rudolph.

The way you were made is not by accident. You will never look like those people online because you’re not them. You’re you - and that is a good thing.

Once you learn to fully accept that you - yes, you reading this - is fully worthy of love exactly where you are and how you are, those mental blocks you constructed begin to crumble, and what you are left with is the kind of peace that can only be provided by being completely satisfied in your Creator.

You want a hard pill to swallow? Well, I’ll give you one:

satisfaction with yourself does not come from within, it comes from above.

Learning to love yourself is not about you - it’s about loving the one who made you. It doesn’t come from the physical and behavioral changes that you force into your routine, it comes from letting go of every single standard the world is throwing your way, and gripping firmly onto the Father.

My high school youth group pastor gave a lesson on this topic that I will never forget - he said “the more you cling to Him, the more you become like Him, and the more you become like Him, the more you become yourself.”

You want to be beautiful?

You want to be loved?

You want to be worthy?

Newsflash: you already are.

You are all of these things and more. You don’t need to edit yourself to be worthy. Even in your worst moments, even when you don’t feel like it, even when everything around you is screaming that you’re not enough, you have the freedom to sink deep into the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God isn’t done with you yet. You are always getting better, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

You are gorgeous. You are capable. You are enough. You are intimately known by the God of the universe, and He delights in every piece of you.

When are you going to start acting like it?

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Meditating can be one of the best ways to connect with God, but if you have a busy brain (like me), all of that quiet can be overwhelming - so here are some songs to listen to while you listen for His quiet voice.

In over My Head - Bethel Music

King of Kings (Live) - Hillsong Worship

Faithful - Sarah Reeves

Your Glory / Nothing But The Blood (Live) - All Sons & Daughters

Clout Christianity

“I feel like your blog is…well, for lack of a better word, heretical”

“I’ve been talking with some of the other girls in our group and we all agreed…you should post less pictures of yourself”

”Have you ever heard of Girl Defined? They talk about wearing makeup in a God-honoring way, you should really check it out”

“Wait, he’s gay? And you’re still friends? Aren’t you like…shining a negative light on God?”

Sigh.

These are all real things that people have said to me. These are actual statements made by actual Christians. And this is only a handful of things that have been said to me regarding my faith.

Today’s blog is going to be a little different, y’all. Buckle up.

I want to talk about Clout Christianity.

I want to talk about the side of Christianity that tries to make Jesus “trendy”. I want to talk about the side of Christianity that cares about favorites. I want to talk about the side of Christianity that wastes energy on nitpicking. I want to talk about the side of Christianity that is so focused on other Christians that it has completely lost sight of the ultimate mission.

This side of Christianity (which I have nicknamed “Clout Christianity”) is becoming more and more prominent. I see it all the time on social media - Christians picking fights with other Christians about the tiniest of things and tearing each other down in the name of “correction”. They spend so much energy criticizing one another, and then they call it “being loving"“.

Here’s the thing though: Clout Christianity is not loving. It just portrays itself that way. It’s very sneaky - its words can look like a kiss, but in reality, they’re a slap in the face.

Clout Christianity cares about one thing: clout.

Favorites. Likes. Double-taps. Views. Shares. Comments from other Christians saying “preach!” or “amen!” All things that can be great - to an extent.

You see, at some point, those posts that they claim are “to share truth” become a way to gain popularity. Their content becomes more targeted towards those that are already saved, which, in turn, gains them more likes and more followers (who are all - yes, you guessed it - saved).

Not only that, but they spend a lot of their time starting arguments on social media - and most of the time, these arguments are with other Christians. The topics of these disagreements vary, but if I had to use one word to describe them, it would be nitpick-y. These arguments are masqueraded as showing truth to one another, but are actually based on proving who has more theological knowledge.

“But Bailey, we’re called to lovingly correct our brothers and sisters in Christ! Haven’t you read Matthew 18?”

I’m so glad you asked, because yes…yes I have.

Let’s go over it together, shall we?

Matthew 18 verses 15 through 17 -

“If another believer sins, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If they still don’t accept, treat them as a pagan.”

So yes, we are absolutely called to correct our brothers & sisters in Christ - but correct them in what?

SIN.

The only time that you are called to correct another believer is if they are blatantly sinning. If they are doing something detrimental to their faith -

Not if they wear too much makeup.

Not if they have gay friends.

Not if they read a different translation of the Bible than you.

There will always be room for dispute when it comes to translating the Bible. It is the word of God, but how many times can one verse be translated among different people? I mean, look at how many different denominations there are!

My point is, stop focusing on the things that don’t matter. Stop tearing down other believers. Everyone who believes that Jesus died for our sins & conquered death is on the same team - and it’s about time we start acting like it.

Church, when did we become so dang nitpick-y?

We have got to stop judging one another and calling it correction. Once we realize that we all have the same end goal - which is to grow the kingdom of God & spread the Good News to those who don’t yet know Him - there is so much more room to put love on display. Once we realize that, we can truly be a people bent on changing the world - an unstoppable force that is not hypocritical, but full of truth, love, and righteousness.

So, Clout Christian, I leave you with this question: who are you really posting for? Are you truly trying to reach the unreached, or are you trying to get a “yes & amen” from an audience that’s already saved?

Having Faith Amidst Disappointment

I just graduated college in the middle of a global pandemic.

If you had asked me four years ago where I thought I was going to end up after graduation, never in a million years would I have said “unemployed and moving back in with my parents”. Never. If you had told freshman year Bailey that’s where she was headed, she would have dropped out.

And yet, that’s exactly where I am. I have the degree I worked so hard for, and every single job I have applied for has told me no. I won’t be able to afford to live on my own, so it seems that moving back in with my parents is the only option. I’ve lived on my own for four years, and now all of my furniture is going into a storage unit to collect cobwebs. My residence will be my childhood bedroom. My income will be next to nonexistent. I feel completely and utterly out of control - so here I am, degree in hand, completely lost and unsure about what’s next.

On top of all of that, I have now more than ever fallen into the social media comparison trap. I feel like there has been an enormous push on social media to really “take advantage of quarantine” - in other words, if you’re not exercising daily, eating healthy, or starting a business right now, then you’re wasting your time. I’ve been struggling on and off with this weird sense of guilt about not feeling motivated to do all of these things.

On the flip side of that guilty feeling is the reality that the current state of the world is…well, chaotic. I should be giving myself grace and being gentle with myself as I learn how to navigate this new situation, but I just can’t shake this overwhelming sense of guilt, dismay, and absolute defeat.

Disappointment doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about my current situation.

And it breaks my heart to know that so many of you are in the same boat.

I think we can all agree that the current state of the world sucks. It sucks. And there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. We are completely helpless and out of control.

So how do we move forward? How do we keep our faith when the disappointments just keep coming?

Well, the first thing we have to acknowledge is probably the most obvious: we were never in control in the first place.

We as humans constantly make the mistake of thinking that we are in control of our lives and what happens in them, and while we do make our own decisions and exercise our free will daily, it is crucial that we understand how involved God is. God doesn’t just sit and observe from above, He is an active participant in our lives. He controls what time you wake up and how many red lights you get stopped at on your way to work. He controls whether or not they’re out of toilet paper at the supermarket. He controls whether or not we have breath in our lungs and whether or not our hearts continue to beat. God is in the details of your life - even the ones that seem small and insignificant.

He is in control of everything.

The second truth that must be acknowledged is that God is good.

I know you read that, but read it again.

God does everything for the good of His holy kingdom. He is constantly preparing a place for us and moving the parts and pieces necessary to get us to the point of Christ’s return.

Here’s the thing though -

Yes, everything He does is for His kingdom, but we’re all heirs…so that kingdom He’s building? Yeah, that’s for you. You get to take part in that. You get to live with your Creator in paradise for eternity. Everything God does is for the good of the Kingdom, but you’re a part of that - meaning that He is so good that what is in the best interest of the kingdom is in your best interest as well.

I cannot stress this enough: God is good. He did not forget about you. Bad stuff is not happening to harm you, but to form you - form you into someone who is more like His perfect Son. Form you into the person you were created to be in the first place.

So if we take these two truths at face value, we can draw one conclusion: that this is all happening for a reason.

Now you’re probably thinking, “but Baileyyyy…that doesn’t make it any easier!”

Girl. I know.

I don’t think there’s anything that I could say to make this situation better for you, no matter how badly I want to. I struggle with my current reality daily. It’s not going to be easy for awhile, but you know what? We don’t need ease. You and me, we don’t need perfect. We don’t need simple.

We need to stand firm in our faith, draw near to the Father, and cling to the hope that we have in Him - and we do have hope in Him!

You’re going to be alright. You’re going to be able to look back at this absolute mess and be grateful about the way that it happened. At the end of it all, you’re going to be able to dust yourself off, smile, and say “wow, if I could make it through that, then I am beyond ready for whatever’s ahead of me.”

God is in the details of your life, and He will never abandon you. Every single thing-good and bad-is happening for your benefit. Find your peace in that.

And hey - you’re gonna be okay.

_________________________

This is a really weird time, and I know for a fact that I am not the only one struggling with the current state of my life. If you need prayer, please reach out to me! I want to create a community where praying for each other is the usual thing, so if you have any prayer, big or small, click here.

_________________________

Here’s some scripture to encourage you as you learn to navigate this season. Write these down, hang them on your mirror, and read them out loud to declare them over your life every time you see them!

Jeremiah 29:11 - “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans that are good for you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Peter 1:3-4 - Because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, we now live with great expectation. We have a priceless inheritance - an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.

Romans 12:12 - Rejoice and be confident in hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

and here’s some songs:

Already There - Casting Crowns

Breakthrough (Live) - Red Rocks Worship

Soul’s Anthem - Tori Kelly

Sweet Serendipity - Lee DeWyze

To the One (Live) - UPPERROOM

Come to Me (Spontaneous) - Bethel Music, Jenn & Brian Johnson

Gravity - Jenn & Brian Johnson

Burn the House Down

I am currently in what has probably been the hardest season of my life.

Events transpired that I was sure I wasn’t going to recover from. I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t eat or get out of bed for days at a time. It felt like someone had burnt my house the ground.

I used that metaphor a lot, because it was the only way I could put what I was feeling into words. It felt like someone burnt my house to the ground.

And I guess God heard me say that.

On my way to church today, I saw an enormous cloud of smoke. Now, I don’t know much about fire, but what I do know is that dark grey means that whatever is burning is still currently burning, whereas white means that the fire has been extinguished - and this cloud was dark grey.

As I drove closer, I could see the source: a house seated on top of a hill that was completely engulfed in flames.

I didn’t see any emergency vehicles outside of the home, so I pulled out my phone and typed in 911. I was still on the interstate, but I knew what exit the house was closest to. My finger hovered over the dial button, but then I saw a sheriff drive by. I exhaled, thinking that he was on his way to help, but became nervous again when I noticed his lights weren’t on. Was I the only one seeing this fire? What if there are people inside? Should I call 911, or is it under control?

I thought about these questions all the way to church. With 911 still typed into my keypad, I parked and got out of my car. You could see the smoke from the parking lot, and other people were definitely noticing it. Surely one of these people called the fire department, right?

My mental debate was interrupted by one of the parking attendants telling me good morning. I smiled and said good morning back, but then I stopped.

“Hey there’s a house on fire over there, do you think I should call 911? Or do you think someone has already done it?”

The minute the words left my mouth I internally cringed. It felt like a silly question to ask the man who had helped me park, because - to my knowledge - he had the same amount of information I had.

“Oh, no need!” he replied. “My brother actually works for the fire department, that’s an intentional burn.”

I’m sorry…did he just say “intentional burn?”

“I was confused because the house looked so nice,” he continued. “It had a really pretty exterior. I guess it was more of an internal problem.”

Internal problem? Intentional burn?

These words echoed around in my mind on my walk into the building. Internal problem. Intentional burn.

Click.

Queue the tears.

I had been saying for months that it felt like someone had burnt my house to the ground. I was so broken down and angry with God, because it felt like all of the things that I cared about the most were taken away from me. I felt so empty and out of control.

I couldn’t see it a few months ago, but I realize now that the “house” I lived in was disgustingly unhealthy. Yes, I looked put together and pretty on the outside, but on the inside I was constantly anxious. I had become comfortable with being uncomfortable. The situation that I was in was completely hindering my growth, but because it was familiar, I wanted to stay in it - and I would have if God hadn’t stepped in.

If God hadn’t allowed fire to be set to my metaphorical house - my plans, my relationships, all of it - I would have settled for the mediocrity I was living in. I would have stayed right where I was, as the person I was. I had no idea how harmful my thinking patterns were and how little I valued myself. I had absolutely no idea that my mental state was as toxic as it was.

If I could see how unsound my house was at the beginning of all of this…I would have set fire to it myself.

I couldn’t see it though. Thank goodness that God did, and He cared enough to remove me from it.

If I’ve learned one thing through this incredibly difficult season, it’s that the presence of hardships does not negate the presence of God. God loves and cares about you enough to allow trials and difficult seasons into your life so that you can grow. Pain allows us to become more like Jesus.

I won’t lie, growing is painful. It hurts to grow. But the person that you become on the other side of the trial is a person worth meeting.

I mean it when I say I wouldn’t change a thing about these last few months. It has been incredibly difficult, but you know what? I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m surrounded by people who love me. Jesus has filled holes in my heart that I didn’t even know were there.

I’m still rebuilding my house, and some days are better than others - but at least now I have a firm foundation to build upon. In the midst of the storm, I have hope.

It’s crazy how Jesus works. It feels dichotomous - that even in the middle of incredible sorrow, he can give you joy. He can give you hope. He can restore you.

All you gotta do is ask Him.

I know that some of you may be going through a difficult season right now too. If you need prayer, click here.

You are so well loved and looked after.

Just because life sucks right now doesn’t mean that He has forgotten about you.

And hey - this season isn’t going to last forever. Joy is coming.

(If you don’t believe me, read Job).

_________________________

Songs to listen to in this season:

Come to Me (Spontaneous) - Bethel Music, Jenn Johnson, Brian Johnson

Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne

Raise a Hallelujah (Live) - Bethel Music, Jonathan David Helser

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Be a Friend

When I was younger, I didn’t have very many friends.

I didn’t really have any friends, actually. I was a pretty lonely kid. I didn’t talk to people in fear that they might think I was weird or awkward, so I just kept to quiet. I spent a lot of time by myself, and I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts.

The anxiety didn’t set in all at once, it built up over time. My brain was a ticking time bomb of unexpressed emotions. I was so lonely - I had convinced myself that I was too socially awkward to make friends, and that I was unworthy of friendship. The enemy berated my brain daily; he had a tight grip on my thoughts. He whispered to me over and over that I was worthless and that no one liked me. The worst part is that I believed him. Eventually, everything got so pent up that it had to come out.

I remember walking down the stairs and seeing my parents sitting in the living room. I was too tired to beat around the bush, so I just came out and said it -

“I’m thinking about killing myself.”

Saying those words aloud opened up a floodgate of emotion. I had a large-scale panic attack that lasted five days. In those five days, I stayed home from school so my parents and church leaders could counsel me, pray with me, and provide me with more love and comfort than I could ever ask for. I thank God for those people every day.

God was so faithful through the whole thing. He pulled me close, and provided me with loving comfort. I went to see a therapist, who helped me learn how to work through my feelings. God continued to place people in my life to take care of me. Over time, the anxiety subsided and my confidence grew, and I started to reach out to people at school and church. I made friends, and the loneliness that was once so rock solid within me fell apart.

When I began to heal, I made two promises to myself:

1. I would never allow myself to get that low again without talking to someone about it.

2. I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt, and if someone needed a friend then I would do everything in my power to make them feel loved.

I would be the light.

In our world, not everybody’s story ends like mine. Not everyone has a happy ending. We live in a world where we are constantly at each other’s throats with criticism and judgement. We ostracize people because they’re “different” or they’re “not cool.” We judge people solely based on their physical appearance and rumors that we hear from others. If they don’t measure up to our standards, they don’t get our friendship.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve been so lonely that I wanted to die, but I’ve also been the mean girl. I’ve excluded people and made them feel unloved because of my own insecurities. I’ve blatantly ignored people because I thought they weren’t good enough for me. I’ve treated people like they’re an inconvenience to me. I’ve deliberately spread rumors about people just to bring them down. I’ve been bullied, but I’ve also been a bully.

Matthew 22:39 states it clearly:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

When Jesus says that, he calls it the “second greatest commandment,” the first being to love God above all else. Love God, then love people.

Why is that so dang hard?

I don’t mean that sarcastically either - it’s hard to love everyone around you. Trust me, I know. But imagine how different our world would be if we were even just a little bit kinder to those around us.

Often times, it seems that Christians are the worst at this. There has been multiple occasions where I have invited someone to church and they have declined because “they feel judged.” There have also been occasions where someone has found out that I’m a Christian and they no longer felt like they could share things with me because they feared I was going to judge them.

What kind of name have we made for God by being judgmental?

God himself is the supreme judge, but unlike ours, his judgements are just and righteous. We as humans have no right to cast judgement on our neighbor, and by doing so we give the impression that God is as irrational and frivolous as we are. The reality is that we serve a loving God. If God loves us despite our ugly sins, we can love each other.

Let me say that again.

If God - the creator of the universe and everything in it - calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, then we have absolutely no right to do anything less than that.

Next time you think about judging someone for their appearance, consider this: that person is an image bearer.

Just like you.

Next time you think about screenshotting someone’s post on social media and gossiping about it in your group chat, consider this: that person deserves love and grace.

Just like you.

Next time you see someone sitting alone, consider this: inviting them to sit with you could change their entire day, and possibly their entire outlook on life.

Just like it would for you if you were in their shoes.

Show Jesus to someone today. Be a light. Be a friend. Invite someone who’s lonely to sit by you. Reach out to an old friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. Doing something as small as complimenting a stranger could change the entire trajectory of their day.

Where’s the harm in extending love?

What do you have to lose by being kind?

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I only have one song for you this time, but it’s a good one:

One Awkward Moment - Casting Crowns

*edit - I lied. I want to add one more song:

Nobody - Casting Crowns feat. Matthew West