Joy is a Fruit

Earlier this week I was scrolling through Pinterest, on a mission to find pictures for the vision board I was constructing in my office. I scrolled past many cheesy quotes (things like “dream it, do it!” and “you got this, girlboss!”), but eventually my eyes fell upon one that caused me to pause. It read:

“Happiness is a mood, joy is a fruit.”

Wow.

If you grew up going to church, then you probably remember singing that one song about the fruit of the Spirit – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” I loved that song when I was little. Now it’s going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day.

It’s not just a song though, it’s a real verse from Galatians – Galatians 5:22-23 to be exact. It goes like this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against these there is no law.”

I have had the fruits of the Spirit memorized since I was old enough to go to vacation Bible school, and therefore have known that joy is one of them for a very long time – I had not, however, really taken the time to think about what that truly meant until I read that quote.

You see, as Christians, we are called to live our lives radically differently than how the world expects us to live. This (as I’m sure you are more than aware) is actually incredibly difficult considering the fact that our spirit and our flesh are constantly at war with each other. The verses in Galatians 5 leading up to 22-23 actually demonstrate this:

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these.”

The things listed above are what we naturally lean towards, and this is solidified by social media, school, and just society in general. Our flesh desires to be part of the world – to fit in regardless of the sin. So if we naturally lean in that direction, that would imply that leaning in the opposite direction (towards the fruit of the Spirit) is something that takes conscious practice. It implies that it is not something that comes naturally.

I have never thought of joy in this way, and I think that is mostly due to the fact that I have confused “joy” with “happiness”. The two may be synonyms in the thesaurus, but biblically, they could not be more different.

Happiness is a mood, which means that it is fleeting and dependent upon your circumstances and surroundings.

Joy is a fruit, which means that it is solid and rooted completely in your faith and love for Jesus.

Happiness is earthly.

Joy is Heavenly.

I spend a lot of my time trying to better myself – I go to therapy, make diet and exercise plans, journal…all things that, I believe, will turn me into a person who is joyful. I have been tricked into believing that joy is a destination to reach, which makes me yearn for the “next thing” –

“When I get married, I’ll have joy.”

“When I have a job that I love, I’ll have joy.”

“When I lose some weight, I’ll have joy.”

And on.

And on.

And on.

The cycle repeats until I die – and guess what?

I never reach my destination.

And the enemy is so tricky for making me think like that, isn’t he?

By distracting me with thoughts of what could be, I have been inadvertently tricked into believing that it is not only irrational, but impossible to have joy in the present – and I didn’t even notice.

It started small. My anxiety got a little worse, nibbling at the corners of my brain and stomach. Then, I started to hate my job and slack off. Then, I started to get grumpy and resentful towards my boyfriend, friends, and family – and the next thing I knew I was spiraling out of control with discontent.

And that is no way to live, is it?

I had grown so used to hungering for my future that I neglected filling myself up in the present. I was blind to the beauty that existed around me because I had been convinced that beauty only comes from circumstances. I wanted to be joyful, but I was confusing it with happiness, therefore making it unreachable in my current place.

Joy is a fruit. Fruit growth takes practice. It takes patience. It takes time. It takes lots of mindfulness and prayer. Learning to be joyful is an art form – and it isn’t one that is going to happen overnight.

Your enemy does not want you to have joy, and knows that you naturally lean in the direction of sin. He wants to keep you distracted with fantasies of happiness, stories of “what ifs”, keeping joy unreachable and the cycle unending. He is incredibly sneaky – so much so that, like me, you may not even notice that you’re being deceived.

That being said,  you are going to have to fight to find joy. You’re going to have to fight with all you’ve got. You’re going to have to live in a way that is radically different from the way the world wants you to live.

Despite what your enemy whispers to you, there is joy in each day. There is joy even in the valley – you just have to look a little harder.

Don’t stop fighting for joy. This world may be broken, but God’s goodness still gives new breath to our bones and light to our lives each day.

Keep fighting the Good Fight.

How to be Beautiful

I hate that you opened this.

I mean maybe it’s because you genuinely enjoy my writing and read everything I post, but odds are you clicked on it because you want to know how to feel beautiful -

which implies that you don’t think you are already.

I know, I know, lots of jumping to conclusions, and it’s only the first paragraph of this post - but am I wrong?

When I was younger, I was obsessed with this book series called “The Clique”. It was centered around these rich, beautiful, teenage girls who always wore designer clothes, lived in sprawling mansions, and were the most popular girls at their school. The main character, Massie Block, was this privileged, gorgeous girl who didn’t take crap from anyone. She was actually quite the bully, and is the antagonist for a majority of the series -

and I wanted to be just like her.

I was a quiet, awkward middle schooler who had braces and wore the same pair of excessively bedazzled Miss Me jeans pretty much every single day. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, and I was a complete pushover. To me, Massie Block represented this beautiful and strong idealized version of myself that I wanted so badly to reach. I wanted to wear all designer clothing. I wanted to live in a house so gigantic that I had to wear a bell so my parents knew where I was. I wanted to have comebacks so quick that no one would dare mess with me. I wanted big boobs, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth - just like Massie.

I was obsessed. I would literally sit in my room and google “how to be like Massie Block” and take notes. I read every forum, every Wikihow, every single article that even mentioned her name. I wanted to be just like her.

What my 13 year old mind failed to understand was that, no matter how much I changed my outward appearance and actions, it wouldn’t fix the emotional turmoil that I was experiencing in my mind. I thought that if I was beautiful and rich and had everything I wanted at my fingertips, that it would make me love myself. That it would make me love my body. That I would look in the mirror and absolutely adore my reflection.

And you know what? I was right.

Now, 10 years later, I have all of the things that I wanted. I have clear skin. I have straight teeth. I have designer clothing. I have gorgeous friends. I’m quick with my tongue. I still don’t have boobs, but I do have an athletic frame that can wear just about anything. I am beautiful, and I have 2000+ Instagram followers to prove it. Middle school me was right - all I needed were these things. I no longer struggle with my self-esteem, I fully know my worth.

Haha. Just kidding.

It is very rare that I look in the mirror and like what I see. I think my face is too round, my stomach isn’t flat enough, my legs are too short - and these don’t even begin to scratch the surface of my insecurities. I’m guilty of weighing myself constantly, and punishing my body when the number on the scale goes up. I go through phases where I am fully convinced that all of my friends secretly hate me, and that my boyfriend is going to realize how much of a mess I am and leave me.

So, I scroll.

My obsession with Massie Block may have dissipated, but it is now manifesting in other ways - a Pinterest filled with “body inspo” pins. Bookmarked photos of beautiful women with flowing hair and rockin’ abs on Instagram. Obsessively scrolling through the exercise tag on Tik Tok. Googling new fad diets, and taking pages of notes on them so I can lose the 3 pounds I gained over the holiday weekend. I am constantly overwhelming my brain with comparison, taking note of and obsessing over the things that I wish I was.

I, like so many people, am stuck in a vicious and unhealthy cycle - a cycle perpetuated by the belief that I am not enough. The belief that if I was just a little bit better, I would be happy -

and my friends, let me tell you: this concept leads to nowhere but the path of disappointment and shame.

You see, there is always going to be someone better. There is always going to be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone smarter - someone who has the things you don’t. And then suddenly, without you even noticing, that “little” bit of change you were trying to make has turned into an unhealthy obsession fueled by an unreachable standard.

Now, what I don’t want you to hear me saying is that you should never try to improve yourself, because that is completely untrue. There is always room for growth and improvement, and to quote my favorite author Rachel Hollis, “you should always try to be better than the person you were yesterday - even if it’s only by an inch.”

I am all for self-improvement, but the way our world tells us to go about it is, in my opinion, completely wrong. I am a firm believer that, even on your worst day, you are worthy of love and compassion- even if you are not where you want to be yet.

So, with that in mind, how can we begin to love ourselves where we are? As we are?

First and foremost, we must begin to understand and accept the fact that God isn’t finished with us yet. Philippians 1:6 says this:

“Be confident in this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ’s return.”

God isn’t just going to leave you where you are. In fact, He is doing little things to improve you every day, oftentimes without you even noticing. You are being molded and improved upon by your Maker every single day; He will never abandon or forsake you.

Not only that, but God’s standard of beauty is different than the world’s. You might look in the mirror and think “wow, I could lose a few pounds”, but God looks at that same reflection and smiles in adoration. He sees someone made in His image. He sees you as a work of art, made and completely adored by Him. He cherishes you. You are His masterpiece - even with that zit on the end of your nose that makes you look like Rudolph.

The way you were made is not by accident. You will never look like those people online because you’re not them. You’re you - and that is a good thing.

Once you learn to fully accept that you - yes, you reading this - is fully worthy of love exactly where you are and how you are, those mental blocks you constructed begin to crumble, and what you are left with is the kind of peace that can only be provided by being completely satisfied in your Creator.

You want a hard pill to swallow? Well, I’ll give you one:

satisfaction with yourself does not come from within, it comes from above.

Learning to love yourself is not about you - it’s about loving the one who made you. It doesn’t come from the physical and behavioral changes that you force into your routine, it comes from letting go of every single standard the world is throwing your way, and gripping firmly onto the Father.

My high school youth group pastor gave a lesson on this topic that I will never forget - he said “the more you cling to Him, the more you become like Him, and the more you become like Him, the more you become yourself.”

You want to be beautiful?

You want to be loved?

You want to be worthy?

Newsflash: you already are.

You are all of these things and more. You don’t need to edit yourself to be worthy. Even in your worst moments, even when you don’t feel like it, even when everything around you is screaming that you’re not enough, you have the freedom to sink deep into the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God isn’t done with you yet. You are always getting better, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

You are gorgeous. You are capable. You are enough. You are intimately known by the God of the universe, and He delights in every piece of you.

When are you going to start acting like it?

_________________________

Meditating can be one of the best ways to connect with God, but if you have a busy brain (like me), all of that quiet can be overwhelming - so here are some songs to listen to while you listen for His quiet voice.

In over My Head - Bethel Music

King of Kings (Live) - Hillsong Worship

Faithful - Sarah Reeves

Your Glory / Nothing But The Blood (Live) - All Sons & Daughters